Jeannie May, the creator of Living Sphere, has been providing support via online forums, email, live chat and phone since 2002.
See the ‘Dear Jeannie‘ column for some of her previously published requests and responses.
To submit a request for support / advice, please use the contact form. You may request a private response or have your query and the response published on the site to help others if you wish. (Real names will not be used without your approval.)
Hi Jeannie, i have suffered from reccurent genital herpes for about 5 years now, I was on the medication aciclover. however now i am 11 weeks pregnant and have stopped taking any form of medication as not to harm my baby. I’m wanting to know about the best natural remedy to treat the virus. I have had an ongoing outbreak for over 1 month now and its causing distress to me and its distressing in my relationship because we have to abstain from sex. I’m due to see a doctor about this however i’m starting an 8 week job which basically leaves with no time.
Help!
Lilly, there are a number of supplements and alternative therapies that may assist you. Some people swear by the effectiveness of L-Lysine, others find Olive Leaf Extract helpful, and there are many other products that claim to be of assistance.
You need to discuss any alternative therapy you are considering, as well as antiviral medication, with your doctor.
Hi Lily,
You could try Lysine supplements. I am no expert but I believe that this essential amino acid impedes another amino acid in the body (Arginine) which herpes uses to activate. You get Lysine (and Arginine) from your diet but can increase the levels in your body with supplements. I have not tried this but hace read about it and other people say it helps a lot. You can read here for detailed information:
http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/diet_and_nutrition_with_herpes.htm
Hope everything works out.
Dear Jeannie
Since I have been diagnosed with HSV2 all I’ve wanted is a cure, unrealistic perhaps but I’m wondering if you have any idea how long it will take to find one if there is hope of that, what the latest research is and if there’s any chance the latest vaccine will lead to a cure? I’ve heard that if the vaccine is effective, this may mean that you could get your perspective partner vaccinated to prevent transmission, do you think this will be the case soon? Thanks very much
Hi Jane,
I’m sorry but I cannot predict when or even if a cure will be found.
As far as I am aware the vaccines that have been trialed have only proven partially effective so far. However, there are many research projects currently being carried out around the world so who knows what that may lead to in the future in terms of treatment, prevention and perhaps even a cure?
Hello Jeannie,
I am convinced that I have been infected with hsv, I have been to at least 8 physical exams and had a half dozen blood screens and about the same number of swab tests. All of the lab tests have come back negative however none of these tests were performed at the time of what I believe was my initial outbreak.One of the doctors said that he thought it was genital herpes based on my sexuall history and a physical exam.Like all of us I am looking for some mystery alternative however a close second choice would be for me to get a laboritory typing of the virus, at the moment I am flactuating wildly from denial to deep depression.Can you offer any advice on someone who is specialising in this type of thing.I have been to the sexuall health clinic and can get no help there.At this stage I am looking for someone who is willing to go further than the standard walk in walk out tests.If I need to dress like a Ginea Pig for them to look at me then I’ll buy a fur coat, bout as close to a laugh as I get these days ha ha. Any advice or contacts you can help me with is much appreciated.Just like it says on one of the other pages, the knowledge level among general health care workers is somewhat lacking in this particular field. Regards
John
Hi John, best I can suggest is going to a sexual health clinic and ask to be re-tested. Swab tests are best done when you are experiencing symptoms; blood tests can be done anytime. If you consistently test negative for HSV then odds are pretty good that you don’t have it. It is possible to get false negatives, but if you have had several negative results then it is quite likely correct. You need to bear in mind that a visual examination cannot give an accurate diagnosis and herpes can present differently in different people – some experience no symptoms, some simply redness or a rash, and some experience blisters. What makes you so certain that you have herpes?
Hi Jeannie, I have just been diagnosed with HSV2. I am confused about how I have contracted this as have been in a monogamous relationship for 14 years. My husband has not been tested yet but my doctor is adamant that he has given it to me. He has no symptoms and swears he’s been faithful to me. If he does have the virus as well, can it have been in his system for some time or is he more likely to have been recently exposed himself. I wouldn’t normally have trust issues with him but……
Hi Sharyn
It is ‘possible’ that you contracted herpes from your husband and it is ‘possible’ that he has been unfaithful or had it for years and not shown any symptoms or known about it. It is also possible that you have had it for years and not known it yourself.
If your husband is tested then you can perhaps identify him as the source of your herpes, but that won’t tell you if he has been faithful or not. Many people have the virus and are completely unaware of it (the stats are about 80% of people with genital herpes).
hi jeannie, i have been living with HSV 2 for just over a year now and im 25 yrs old. im really not coping with it well at all. im on suppressive medication and have been taking an increased dose since my diagnosis due to very aggressive symptoms. i have not been sexually active since the diagnosis as i feel way too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone. i dont have any known friends with it and have not really spoken to anyone about it before. im so unsure of what the transmission risks are and what are my chances of living a semi normal life again. i havent had an outbreak since my first one so im hoping that it will just stay like this if i keep taking the medications. have you got any suggestions for good support groups or any other suggestions.
Hi Cindy. There are many support groups out there, both online and off. Contact me direct and let me know what area you live in and I may be able to suggest one near you.
There are transmission risks – taking antiviral medication and using protection significantly reduce those risks. Check out this link for some detailed info on transmission risks: http://www.ahmf.com.au
As far as not knowing anyone else who has herpes… you probably do know many people with herpes, but because it is not talked about you aren’t aware of it.
You don’t need to remain celibate for the rest of your life, people do go on to have relationships after contracting herpes – with people who don’t have it and people who do.
There’s no need to give up hope on relationships.
Hi Jeannie,
I have just been diagnosed with genital herpes (HSV1). Today it was confirmed by my doctor. My head is spinning. I can’t comprehend that my blood test was negative yet swabs were positive. I know in a little while the bloods will be positive too. Unfortunately for me I was with a man who got a cold sore the day after we slept together. And thats all it took.
I feel ripped off and angry. I am in sooooo much pain I have to stifle screams when i go to the bathroom. I’ve had a reaction to the antivirals now too and its like a blowtorch has been taken to my nether regions. I would never wish this on anyone. I have been with my current partner for a little over 3 weeks now. Telling him was the hardest thing but he says he will stand by me and that its not my fault. I am wondering when he will change his mind. I really like him, but this is too much. Hell, I want to run away from me. I also suffer from depression so the news that I am now dealing with herpes is hitting me hard. I don’t know what to do. I found this site and im hoping there are other people I can talk to who can give me some guidance or perspective because at the moment I feel like life just isn’t worth it anymore.
Hi Rachel. You are correct about the blood tests – in time antibodies will show up in a blood test.
For the pain you can try urinating in the shower or under a stream of water (using a bottle of water to pour over yourself as you urinate). This type of pain is usually only experienced with the first outbreak.
I have never heard of a reaction like that to antiviral medication, your doctor will be able to assist with that issue.
It’s great that your current partner is going to stand by you… many people do, so it’s not always the end of a relationship as some might suspect. You could get some counselling together or seek advice from a sexual health clinic regarding transmission risks. Counselling and/or support will help you deal with the emotional issues which many report are far more of an issue than the physical symptoms.
If you contact me privately (via the contact form) and let me know where you are located, I may be able to help you find a local support group.
Hi Jeannie
Im 15 and my mom has no idea i’m sexual active. She’d kill me. I had sex with my best friend today, i didn’t use condom. He tends to make jokes that aren’t funny to anyone other than him. When we were done he said btw i have herpies and gohnnaria. After about 15 time’s of me asking he admitided it was a joke. Idk if it was to keep me from killing him. So my question is what do i need to watch for? And if he has it then i didn’t notice any break out so is it possible i didn’t catch it?
Hi Patricia
Sounds like he was really joking… but if you are still concerned you would need to look for the classic symptoms of a first outbreak: a fever, flu like symptoms, rash or blisters.
If the guy really does have herpes he may not show any symptoms but still be able to pass it on.
I suggest you don’t freak out about it but would recommend that you become better informed about STIs and safer sex, and remember there are far more serious consequences from practicing unsafe sex than contracting herpes.
There is an old saying about condoms (from an advertising campaign I think): “If it’s not on, it’s not on!”
Take care of yourself Patricia.
Hi Jeannie, I was diagnosed with HSV-2 about 2 months ago. Have been doing lots of research because I felt I wanted to know as much as I could about it. I have been asking questions to an online counselor but I am not sure I have been correctly informed and as a result I am petrified my ignorance has put me in a position where I may have risked passing it on to someone I care about very much. He is my ex and aware I have this as I have been confiding in him. We made a mistake in letting things get a little close and kissing and other stuff (not sex) was done. I am so upset I could have stupidly stuffed up and as a result give this to someone else but I don’t know if I should tell him? My doc told me you can’t know you have it until/if you have symptoms and they are tested and that blood tests don’t show you definitely have it. So if this is correct I may cause him grief with not even knowing if he has it or not. I really want to do the right thing. It will kill me but I have to take responsibility for my stuff up
please help!
Hi Kara, first up I urge you to stop stressing about it. You may not have passed it on at all and are worrying needlessly.
You can only pass on oral herpes via kissing… if you do not have any form of herpes orally you cannot pass it on that way.
With genital herpes you can pass it on by physical contact – if there was intimate contact but no penetrative sex it is still possible to pass it on.
Your ex can have a swab test if he experiences any symptoms. If there is a concern that he might have contracted herpes he can have a blood test which will show antibodies, indicating which type of herpes he has contracted but not identify where he has contracted (genitally or orally).
Hi Jeannie,
Just wondering if you know of get togethers in Brisbane?
Kylie
Hi Kylie,
The Brisbane group has been inactive for a long time, however, they have just posted a function on the Living Sphere Community site http://www.livingspherecommunity.com
The community site enables all members to post and promote support group meetings and social functions. If there isn’t something happening near you, you can always host a meeting yourself by simply posting the details in the events section.
I was just wondering if there were Hevent events still being held or whether there is a support group in Canberra?
There hasn’t been a national event for a while – it takes a lot of time and money to organise and there were not enough people interested in attending to continue holding them.
I am not aware of a support group in Canberra but you can post on the community and some people may be interested in getting together for an informal chat or social get-together.
Hi Jeannie, Ive just been diagnosed with herpes simplex type 1 & 2. I have just gotten into a relationship. I had the blood test done only as a precaution not because I had any symptoms. I have never had any of the listed symptoms yet I have the virus. I have informed my partner who has been nothing but supportive and has had blood tests to see if he has the virus. We are yet to receive any results but regardless of the outcome he has promised to be by my side to support me. I believe that there is a high possibility I’ve had the virus for years without knowing; having previous sexual partners I cannot understand how I have never had any symptoms at all? I’m confused I’ve never had a cold sore or a leison anywhere no itching or tingling or pain when passing urine? Is this even possible?
Hi Megan, it’s quite common to not experience any symptoms – probably the reason why herpes is so common, because people don’t even know they have it.
It is possible that you have had it for some time. Being asymptomatic makes it difficult to work out when you may have contracted it.
Good luck with the results of your partner’s test. And if he does not have it, then please know that there are plenty of successful relationships where one partner does have herpes and the other does not.
dear jeannie ,
hey im brittany nd i just turned 18 i went to a halloween party a few weeks ago nd i made out with a boy there the next day a few people were asking about it nd ask me if he said anything about having a disease nd i sed no. so later on that night i told my sister what happend nd what people were saying nd she told me that she thinks he might have hurpeys what should i do nd how do i find out if i have it. could i get it just by kissing he didnt look like he had anything but i was drunk soo idk im really scarred what my mom nd my friends will think of me….
Hi Brittany
Oral herpes can be passed on by kissing – is this what they were referring to?
Yes, he can have oral herpes without showing any symptoms. Recurrences happen periodically and the virus is most easily passed on during an active phase.
Oral herpes is also quite commonly contracted in childhood through innocent contact, and even adulthood in the same way.
Oral herpes does not have the same negative stigma attached to it as genital herpes. Most people see it as a nuisance and with over 80% of the adult population having it, you can see that it is quite common.
Try not to stress about it. You may not have contracted it all and he may not even have it.